Keepin' It Real

Like Dr. Phil says..."I'm just keepin' it real, folks." When started my BFL Challenge I told not only myself but you guys that I would tell the truth no matter what. No sugar coating this challenge. So here goes...(takes a deep breath)...

I am so not happy with the way the past two weeks have gone. I am falling into my old habits and I can feel it. The self-loathing (that is a bit too harsh of a statement but right now that is how I feel), the not caring what I put in my mouth...the bloated waist...ACK!!!!

3 weeks back a dear family friend passed away. We went back to my hometown for the funeral and I ate my way through Fort Madison...fried taco's and all! :( I came home with every intent of starting back on the right foot. That lasted for one day (usually one meal) then I'd snitch a handful of Doritos (DARN chips!) here and a cookie or 2 there. All the while hating myself and thinking about the Challenge.

This past week has been the worst. I've had three migraine headaches, I've been stressed (due in a BIG way to me NOT following the Challenge) and my mood has been GRUMPSVILLE! My family has had enough...

So with Week 10 and the big finish looming up ahead I'm no where near where I had envisioned myself to be. However there is a quote (actually 2 quotes) that hang in my office that I gain strength from everytime I read...

"You are NOT finished when you lose. You are finished when you QUIT"

"Never, never quit"

This is not an entry to tell you I'm giving in to food, to my weakness's, that I'm gonna quit. Oh no. This is just the truth. I'm struggling right now...but "this too shall pass". I'm gonna win...it's just gonna take some time.